LIVING PROOF OF GOD’S
DELIVERANCE
My senior year in high
school I happily applied for scholarships to college and I was pretty excited
about it, that is until I got rejection after rejection and no one would help
me. Even my counselor treated me like I was a complete loser. I went from
excited to depressed pretty fast. Even though I went to church and read my
Bible all the time, I didn’t know how to apply it to my state of mind. I got
into drugs the day after graduation. I was able to find a job, but it was a
lousy one, with no future. One of my girlfriends suggested we go to Los Angeles
and be hookers. It was the 60’s and I figured sex was about all I had going for
me, so I thought that’s probably what I’d end up doing. My life was a mess.
Then the Lord came and
rescued me. I was still struggling at the time. I’d gone to college, then
nursing school and nothing was satisfying the emptiness I felt, nor did it take
away the deeply-rooted fear that I could end up on the street as a prostitute.
It’s funny how fears that we have at a very tender age twist their way into our
very fiber and stay with us even when those fears don’t make any sense any more.
I experienced this recently.
I was talking to a woman
who was in a hard life situation. She’d lost her home, didn’t have work and had
two young children to support. She was very afraid. She told me she goes to
church and she has hope that God will help her. I prayed for her and told her
He would for sure. I knew from the Bible that God would help this woman, but
one part of me had an overwhelming feeling of pain. I was thrown right back
into the day my girlfriend suggested we should go be hookers; inside of me, I
went to that hopeless place and felt emotionally wrung out.
Though I told the woman of
God’s love and mercy, I didn’t feel it myself. I became her; I became my old
self, with nothing of a future—falling, falling, with only a little hope in God
to hang on to.
When I realized that this
happened way too often when I ministered to people, God did something so
wonderful to instantly change me. It was right there with me all along, but I
didn’t see it. I could feel the person’s despair but I wasn’t feeling the fact
that I was living proof that the despair can turn into complete wonderful
delight.
Yes, as a college-aged
girl I was messed up, which has given me great empathy for people in situations
like I was in, but God rescued me. When my brother invited me to go to a
Christian Rock Festival, I went. Then I re-dedicated myself to the Lord and started
to study His Word and began to understand what I read and apply it. I’m a
success story now. I’m not ultra-rich by any standards, but I’m okay. I did it—never
had to be a hooker. And as silly as that sounds now, back then it was very
real. The Lord God saved me and the Lord Jesus took me. I’m living proof that
there’s a way out and up.
My
personal psalm is Psalm 40:1-3: “I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and
heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry
clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a
new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear,
and shall trust in the Lord.”
Now I’m one of the top
faux finishers in Las Vegas, a published Christian author who’s read in over
100 countries and 27 languages. My life is good. I have friends and family who
love me and God’s given me the best job ever, to write for Him and help people.
Love, Carolyn
CHECK OUT OTHER STORIES
FROM MY LIFE’S ADVENTURES:
WINGS: A
JOURNEY IN FAITH from the Earthly to the Heavenly and WINGS:
JOURNEY WITH JESUS
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